Sunday, December 26, 2010

Dr. Suess

If I could have any job in the world and be guaranteed success and riches with any job I want, I'd pick author. I really, really, really, really, really like writing. However, the odds of me ending up as an author are extremely slim. This is due to:

     a) My parents. They want me to become a doctor

     b) Myself. I want to be rich, and you don't get to be rich as an author unless you write about dreamy vampires or kids with lightning bolts on their forehead. You just don't. So my job alternative is biomedical engineering. I would SO rather be an author, but hey. That's how it is.

So you know who I really, really despise?

Dr. Suess.

It's just not fair. His books consist of nothing but nonsense. Have you ever read a Dr. Suess book? It's absolutely beyond stupid. Makes no sense whatsoever. It's just madness.
First of all, anyone could make a Dr. Suess book. Here, watch:

I wear a hat
With a rat
In a bat
With a shat
And a cat
Was a gat
In the dat
He's fat
It's a gnat.

You see? That took me five seconds, maybe less. HOW DID THAT KIND OF WORK MAKE A GUY FAMOUS AND RICH?

It's just not fair.

Second, America's already extremely behind in the competition for "smartness" with other countries. Basically, our education sucks. The smartest country is probably China or Japan. But America? It's ranked as Number 25.

That's not good.

But really, who can you blame? You can't blame my best friend, Obama. And you can't blame the teachers, either. But who can we point our fingers at?

Dr. Suess.

It was he who brought this upon us. It was his evil doing, not Obama's. 

Think about it. 

China's kindergartners are probably reading Shakespeare right now. And what are we reading? What are our kindergartners reading? They are reading this:

A book
With a cook
In a look
By a nook
Is a dook
Not a rook
With a shook-took-gook.

Oh yeah.

This is the type of literature our future is reading. Wow. Impressive, Dr. Suess. Very, very impressive.


  1. ummm idk whats going on but my email to u wont send :( tht makes me want to cry.

  2. OMG SAME!!!!!! Remember the email u sent me listing ur christmas presents? i wrote a reply, but it wouldn't send. In fact, I can't send emails to ANYONE. It sucks.

  3. :( i neeeedddd to tlk to u tho :( :( :(

  4. OK. I agree for the most part that it's very frustrating that someone like Dr. Seuss (real name: Theodore Seuss Geisel, 1904-1991) got so famous on some random rhyming children's books and that it's totally not fair for the rest of us who are trying our tail ends off to try and become authors and he got famous like THAT. BUT . . . I have to say that not all his books spell utter nonsense. Some of them (if not most of them) contain important messages. SPOILER ALERT, history lesson incoming.

    One of Dr. Seuss's books, called The Butter Battle Book, was about the Cold War and how silly such a thing was. If you read that book with the background information of the Cold War and the Berlin Wall in mind, then you’ll know that it takes a truly good writer to write a message on a topic so serious and make it sound like a silly, rhyming children’s book.

    But otherwise, I agree with you that it’s totally not fair how someone could write such children’s books and get so famous. Oh well. I guess we’ll just have to keep trying, right?

    But mind you, DO read that book. You’ve never too old for ‘ole Dr. Seuss!!!! XD

  5. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't hate on Dr. Suess. I love that guy.

  6. Misticalnia: I THINK I read The Butter Battle Book. It sounds very familiar...

    Mischief Managed: Well..I guess I don't HATE him. I'm just jealous of him :D
    And besides, I LOVE his book The Lorax <3


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