If I could have any job in the world and be guaranteed success and riches with any job I want, I'd pick author. I really, really, really, really, really like writing. However, the odds of me ending up as an author are extremely slim. This is due to:
a) My parents. They want me to become a doctor
b) Myself. I want to be rich, and you don't get to be rich as an author unless you write about dreamy vampires or kids with lightning bolts on their forehead. You just don't. So my job alternative is biomedical engineering. I would SO rather be an author, but hey. That's how it is.
So you know who I really, really despise?
It's just not fair. His books consist of nothing but nonsense. Have you ever read a Dr. Suess book? It's absolutely beyond stupid. Makes no sense whatsoever. It's just madness.
First of all, anyone could make a Dr. Suess book. Here, watch:
I wear a hat
With a rat
In a bat
With a shat
And a cat
Was a gat
In the dat
It's a gnat.
You see? That took me five seconds, maybe less. HOW DID THAT KIND OF WORK MAKE A GUY FAMOUS AND RICH?
It's just not fair.
Second, America's already extremely behind in the competition for "smartness" with other countries. Basically, our education sucks. The smartest country is probably China or Japan. But America? It's ranked as Number 25.
That's not good.
But really, who can you blame? You can't blame my best friend, Obama. And you can't blame the teachers, either. But who can we point our fingers at?
It was he who brought this upon us. It was his evil doing, not Obama's.
Think about it.
China's kindergartners are probably reading Shakespeare right now. And what are we reading? What are our kindergartners reading? They are reading this:
With a cook
In a look
By a nook
Is a dook
Not a rook
With a shook-took-gook.
This is the type of literature our future is reading. Wow. Impressive, Dr. Suess. Very, very impressive.