Friday, April 15, 2011

Shut the Front Door You Son of A Businessman! I Can't Believe You're Such An Astronaut!

Hi there, people. It's a beautiful day, isn't it? The sun's rays are warming the Earth, the birds are singing their jolly songs, the zinnias and tulips are beginning to poke their heads from the soil, and



You know, I really shouldn't be that excited. It's not like I'm having an epic trip to DisneyWorld or going on some insane cross-country road trip. I'll be right here in New York City the entire time. Plus, I have 30+ worksheets for science.  And, as soon as we come back on April 27th, we'll be hitting the books and taking dumb state tests and stuff. We have a few in May and a few in June. Kill. Me.

I'm so unprepared for the tests this year that it's not even funny. Last year, for English, I got a perfect score. 100%. Nothing wrong at all. I was in shock. And I did amazing in Math as well. But this year? Ha. I won't be getting any perfect scores, I can tell you that now.

Ah, well. I shall pray for a good grade...

GUESS WHAT. We had our third and last parent-teacher conference of the year yesterday. I was very upset when I found out that my parents weren't going because they had a doctor's appointment. I really wanted my report card.

So I thought of an idea.

The second my mom came home, I asked her, "Can Yns be my 'gaurdian' for parent teacher conference? Pleeeeeeeeeease?"

She looked confused. "Yns? Your brother? He's only a year older than you."

At that moment (it was around 5:30), my brother walked into the house.

"Hey everyone! I'm home!" he said, being his usual happy self.

So we talked it over with him, and my brother immediately agreed to go. (He's heard a lot about my school -- he's intrigued by it.) So pretty soon after that, we left.

While walking, we passed the creepy, pedophilic ice cream truck guy from this post. My brother knows about him from hearing my stories, so he eagerly said, "Can I stick the middle finger at him?!"

"No," I said sternly.

"But why not?" he whined.

"We don't need to cause any more trouble with the creep, okay?" As an afterthought, I added, "And plus: That's rude!"

Yns gave me a look. "Yeah, like what he does with all the other girls here isn't rude, right?"

I stayed silent. I think I'll let him do it next time we see him.

Anyways. We got to school quick enough and were waiting outside my homeroom/math teacher's room since he was with a student. There, I saw my friend Logan.

"Hey, Logan!" I chirped happily.

"Hey, Eeshie..." I noticed he was sweating and fidgety.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm so nervous for my report card!" he said. Then he noticed my brother standing there, all tall and cool-looking, I guess. He nodded at my brother, and my brother nodded back. I was just watching them nod at each other, wondering why guys can't have some other form of greeting. It has to be a nod?

"You're lucky you came with your brother. I came with my dad. My dad's going to kill me if I get a low grade."

"Oh, he won't..." I said, saying my usual words of comfort.

At this time, our homeroom/math teacher Mr. Goldburg finished, so he let us both come in and get our report cards. First he gave out Logan's. He leafed through the papers slowly, trying to find mine. My heart was beating like crazy, and I was scared that the evil Ms. Mandies had dropped my grade even more this marking period. Remember our lovely little conversation last marking period?

Finally, Mr. Goldburg found it. And then he said the magic words, "Eeshie, I think you got the highest average out of everyone in the class."

I could not believe it. At all. I could not believe it at all!

"Wait. It has to be a mistake!" I said breathlessly, getting excited because well, I couldn't help myself. "I got more than MH?!"

He nodded.

"More than Lydia?!?" I screeched (Lydia's the creepy list person, just reminding you.)

"Eeshie," he said carefully. "You got more than everyone."


I went insane. I started saying, "Oh my gosh!" over and over and over and over again until I'm pretty sure everyone within a ten foot radius was annoyed with me. I was gushing. I was ecstatic. And then I grabbed my report card from Mr. Goldburg's hands.

Compared to my grades from the last marking period, I did a lot better.

Social Studies-97%
And now behold my weighted average: 102.02%
Ahhh...the sweetness of success. I'm #5 in my whole grade. #1 is 102.73. Pshh. Whatever. I'm happy.

The rest of the night was all a happy blur, except for the part when I met my friend's hot older brother. Who knew, right? I'm pretty sure he could tell I was drooling on him. But he was so quiet. When he and my brother shook hands (Not sure why they were so formal), he talked so quiet. It was...weird. Today in school, I asked my friend why he was so quiet, and she said he was nervous around me.


What did I do?!? I didn't do anything! I feel bad now. Still, it doesn't change the fact that he's super hot.

It was a happy day. My brother and I walked home and bought french fries from the local deli. They were hot and steamy. They could use a little more salt. But they were golden crispy and they weren't greasy at all and it was just pure heaven.

So it looks like I'm almost at 100 followers. Almost, but not quite. I guess it's time for me to follow in Christopher's method: You provide a link to my blog, I provide a link to yours.

God, I feel like I'm selling something.

Have you ever tried a gyro? They're scrumptious. You must try one now. It's so worth it. I was eating one on the crowded streets a couple weeks ago in the middle of shopping, and I was just casually leaning against the wall of a store, since food wasn't allowed inside. My brother left my side for a few seconds to throw something out, and in that short time, three black guys came up to me.

"Give me a bite!" One of them barked/demanded. Then they all erupted in laughter.

I raised my eyebrows, but then smiled cooly. They left.

My brother came back and I told him what happened. He got all fired up. "If they come again, I'll punch them in the face!"

Ha. I love Yns.

I actually like having a 102.02 average. You know how much respect I've gotten?!? It's so cool! I mean, I got some weird stuff from my pedophilic librarian Mr. Lucas which I don't feel like mentioning because he's just so gross and I already have a ton of pedophilic people creeping around on this blog, but it's still pretty cool.

And I only embarassed myself once so far! A new record! But it was by accident. I saw my name as #5 on the Gold Honor Roll list and started doing this crazy little dance with my friend, singing about my being #5. Then I turned and saw the principal watching me, amused. I stopped abruptly.

Who do you agree with in this picture?

Looks like it's time for a....


Okay, okay. I don't watch Glee at all, but I have to admit, they sing pretty good. And I saw some of these photos in an article that caught my attention. Naturally, I just had to show you guys.  So. Here it is.

Lea Michele (Senior Year, 2004)
Tenafly High School in Tenafly, NJ
Activities: Honors Choir
High School Memory: "I kind of floated around to all different groups, but it was very clear in my high school that if you were not from a wealthy family or if you were not playing a sport, then you were not cool. But I got by."

Senior Year, 2004


 Dianna Agron (Senior Year, 2004)
Burlingame High School, Burlingame, CA
Activities: Yearbook, Homecoming Princess
Yearbook Quote: "Dance like no one's watching, love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on earth." --Mark Twain
High School Memory: "I wasn't cool in high school. I did belong to many of the clubs, so I had friends, but I didn't know what to wear or how to do my hair."

Senior Year, 2004


Jane Lynch (Junior Year, 1977)
Thornbridge High School, Dalton, IL
Activities: Softball, basketball, choir
High School Memory: "I absolutely relate to the 'Glee' kids, although I didn't get bullied. I sort of walked that line. But choir was my favorite part of the day. So I relate to those kids who got picked last for stuff."

Junior Year, 1977

 Mark Salling (Senior Year, 2001)
Lake Highlands High School, Dallas, TX
Activities: Wrestling, rugby, basketball
High School Memory: "I was a social butterfly with a rebellious spirit. I grew my hair out and decided I wanted to be a musician. I was kind of a hippie."

Senior Year, 2001


Heather Morris (Senior Year, 2005)
Desert Mountain High School, Scottsdale, AZ
Activities: Homecoming Queen
High School Memory: "I was friends with all the popular girls, because I was popular in middle school. But I was a dancer and didn't want to be a follower, so I was sort of the random girl who was friendly and nice to everybody."

Senior Year, 2005

Matthew Morrison (Senior Year, 1997)
Orange County High School of the Arts, Los Almitos, CA
Activities: Soccer, theater

High School Memory: "I was kind of that guy. I was prom king, I was president of my high school, and I went to a special school in the afternoon. I did all my academics and then from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m., I went to a performing-arts high school. I loved it."
Senior Year, 1997

Kevin McHale (Senior Year, 2007)
School: Academy of the Canyons, Santa Clarita, CA
High School Memory: "I hate being categorized so I intentionally didn't belong to a clique. I was friendly with everyone."
Senior Year, 2007
Chris Colfer (Junior Year, 2007)
School: Clovis East High School, Clovis, CA
Activities: Debate, Theater
High School Memory: "I was bullied in high school like Kurt, an outcast, made fun of and teased every day. My closest group of friends were the lunch ladies. I'm still very close to them."
Junior Year, 2007 (I don't know about you, but I'm tempted to just squeeze his cheeks with no end)

Amber Riley (Freshman Year, 2001)
La Mirada High School, La Mirada, CA
High School Memory: "School was like being on the outside looking in. I didn't fit anywhere."
Freshman Year, 2001
Jayma Mays (Senior Year, 1997)
School: Grundy High School, Grundy, VA
Activities: Cheerleading
Favorite Subject: Math
High School Memory: "We had a program called forensics [in high school] -- it was kind of an extracurricular activity. You'd perform monologues after school and compete against other teams. That was my first real taste of performing in front of people, and I loved it."
Senior year, 1997

 Naya Rivera (Freshman Year, 2002)
Valencia High School, Santa Clarita, CA
Activities: Choir
High School Memory: "[I was teased] all the time -- for my hair. Growing up, I had an unruly mane that would never lay flat on picture days."
Freshman Year, 2002
Chord Overstreet (Senior Year, 2008)
School: Middle Tennessee Home School Association, Nashville, TN
Activities: Football
High School Memory: "I was definitely always goofing around. I was always trying to crack jokes. I was always saying stupid things without really thinking about them."
Senior Year, 2008
Now. ...My God, he's hot
 Jenna Ushkowitz (Senior Year, 2004)
Holy Trinity High School, Hicksville, NY
Activities: Choir
High School Memory: "I was a typical type-A go-getter, vice president of my glee club and class president."
Senior Year, 2004
 Darren Criss (Junior Year, 2005)
School: St. Ignatius College Prep, San Francisco, CA
Activities: Theater
Yearbook Quote: "Aarrhhhhunnngh!!!" --Chewbacca
High School Memory:"Dalton Academy is strangely almost exactly like the school I attended. My blazer is the exact same as my high school blazer, the set is a replica of my high school’s halls and classrooms. It is eerie."
Junior Year, 2005
And there you have it. Glee in their high school years. Who do you think changed the most dramatically?

Here's one last story before I leave: Up until I was seven, my plan/dream was to become an artist. I loved to draw, and I thought having a job where you color and doodle all day would be better than anything else. What else could someone want in their job? Then, I soon realized that I had a natural talent (and not to mention extreme passion) for writing.

So I incorporated my love of writing with my plan/dream. I was to be a writer and an illustrator. This plan/dream stayed with me up until the fifth grade.

I realized then that I wasn't all great of an artist as I thought I was. And plus, I realized that I enjoyed writing wayyyyyyyy more. My plan/dream chopped off illustrator from it and was now just to become a writer.

This plan/dream stayed intact for a long, long time. All I did was write. I wrote novels on Microsoft Word (my longest being 323 pages. Whoo!) and I told everyone around me that I was to be a writer when I grew up. If I had a few spare seconds, I'd look up the nation's best writing programs in universities. Also, I'd invest my money in books that help you write and give you ideas, and I'd read online about ways of getting yourself published. I was so entirely focused on this plan/dream of mine, and I wouldn't allow anything to stop me.

That was, of course, until last year.

Last year was the first year that I began not hating science. I didn't love it. I didn't even like it that much. But I no longer hated it. One thing was made clear, however: I had a natural talent in science as well. Without even trying, I'd get 100%'s.

And then this year came, and I am absolutely in love with science class. It's my favorite class.

It was this year that I switched gears. I decided that I was to be something science-related. I discovered that unless you write about magical adolescents or romantic vampires, writing will not be well-paying. I soon grew worried, because one of my biggest dreams is to have so much money that I can buy a huge house when I'm older to keep my parents safe and comfortable, and also to never have my children go through rough times in terms of money, as I've had to do in my life so far, even though I'm young.. I realize that this dream is selfish, but I want it so bad.

Plus, something science-related sounds more noble than writing. Can't you just imagine me at a cocktail party carrying a wineglass with my hot doctor husband's arm wrapped around my waist, revealing casually that I'm a neuropharmacist?

Ahh...can't wait.

So yeah. I've decided (as of now) that I'll be a neuropharmacist instead of a writer. I'm a bit sad, but I still have that selfish dream of mine in mind. Besides, I love studying neurology.

What do you guys think? Science or writing? Writing or science? Neuropharmacist or novelist?

One last thing. I promised Noah Brown that I'd link to his blog Brown's Eye. And look at that! I HAVE! I've only followed his blog for a few days so far, but I can already tell that it's awesome. I love it (Don't tell him I said this - It'll get to his head). He's funny in this really nonchalant way and makes jokes left and right. I think that's what makes him so memorable. He throws a joke at you, just out of nowhere. Expect the unexpected with Noah Brown, people. Expect the unexpected.

And without further ado, here's Snoop Dog attending The Last Supper.

He's so gangsta, yo.


  1. Mr. LameButt said:

    haha. I like Snoop Dog at the end lols

    Your grades are so much better than mine....blahs..

    I may not be following you (I really SHOULD! I'll do that now haha) and vice versa, but please go read my "One Lovely Blog Award xD" post.

    You really do have a lovely blog xP

  2. I hope you get some well deserved and much-needed relaxation during spring break, my friend. I have never seen an episode of Glee myself, mostly because it doesn't show down here. But it doesn't look like these guys have changed that much from high school.

  3. My head's big enough.

    (wait... what?)

  4. Holy freaking guacamole... Um, a 102% average is kind of impossibly amazing. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Haha! You are totally going to be one of those crazy people with A++++s in everything and 5s on every AP test and a 2400 on the SATs with a million extracurriculars and everything else that makes you basically the most perfect college applicant ever, haha! [Sorry, currently stressing out about colleges ;)] GOOD JOB.

    Your neuro-pharmacist career definitely sounds like it'd be awesome! I mean, I love writing, and wanted to be an author myself for the majority of my childhood, but then realized just how many people want to be authors and how few people actually become successful... sigh. But if you do become a neuro pharmacist you can always write on the side, right?

    I am an avid watcher of Glee, I must admit. I adore Chris Colfer and Darren Criss so much. (Though I miss Darren's fro of AVPM days...)

  5. Snaaaaaaaaaaap, that's a crazy average. Insane. Crazy. OFf the heez-ay. Kudos to you, ma'am. I've never been abe to get anything even remotely close tho that haha. I'm rather dim, at my studies.

    And your dream... that's not selfish at all, you want to do it for your family. Nothing selfish about that whatsoever, and anyone who says anything different should be backhanded into the ground.

    As for which job you should choose... I don't know. Writing is hard I guess, but it's rewarding. You essentially don't 'work' for a day in your life (assuming you enjoy it). But then again, like you said, it is hard to be succesful.

    i wish i had an older brother :O
    that guy is nervous around you because he has a SUPER MASSIVE CRUSH ON YOU! maybe.
    i don't watch Glee, but those were nice pictures. none of them changed drastically, methinks.
    Snoop Dogg made me laugh!

  7. I tolded you that the bad grade ion Spanish wouldn't bring your average down! You did so good in math. Today I've been waiting around for my report card to get mailed. I got a 74 in math and a 84 in english. I no why u luv sconce- ms. VL right? Tell yasha I said hi. Im watching spongebob now, that's always a good time. SPRING BRAKE BABY! WOOOO!????

  8. I so miss getting Spring Breaks. Believe me I could definitely use a break right now.

    I hope you get good grades.

    Isn't it amazing how much people can change from over the years?

  9. I agree with the girl in the picture.
    Congrats on being #5 and almost at 100 followers!!!!

  10. Ohh you read my recent post (well it wasn't that recent)
    Thanks for reading ^^
    Amd btw~ gratz on being #5 haha

  11. Haha, you're so cutee!
    "I was just watching them nod at each other, wondering why guys can't have some other form of greeting. It has to be a nod?"
    That IS the way boys greet each other!! :D Haha, my male friends always do it too.

  12. Wow, loved the Glee flashback. Some of these guys are so much older than I still be playing teenagers.

    Hope its a warm spring break for you.

  13. Very cool post. So many adventures. Hope you have a fun spring break.

  14. OH MY LORD. Your blog is so random and quirky and hilarious and I LOVE IT. Seriously. So much of this post made me errupt in giggles. SO MUCH. I won't even recount it, because it was basically everything haha.

    LOVE IT. Keep 'er up.

  15. nfjdsfljnf. your grades are seriously amazing! :O
    also, i saw the glee flashbacks on yahoo news a while back. some of them look like they haven't changed at all. kevin mchale especially. haha.


  17. Just tell me one thing: why are your titles so random?

    And don't say it's just because you wanted them that way or whatever. Give me something better, will ya?

  18. OMG I LOVE THIS POST, and not only because of all the GLEE in it.

    I can't believe that I've never followed you before.

    I have now.


    Congrats on the grades

  19. Sweety, these photos are genial! They were so cute durng their senior year!

  20. My god, your grades are amazing. OMG GLEEE. I love Glee, I do, it's just so nice and light hearted and fun. And umm whoa, Santana? She definitely changed the most. ALSO PLISS BECOME AUTHOR AS WELL AS SCIENTIST-TYPE-PERSON? I love authors.

  21. What a spectacularly lengthy post. You're just a machine, aren't you?

    -Spring Break? I think you got a little mixed up. Spring Break was a month ago.
    -What a bizarre ice cream man story.
    -Your grades are embarrassingly high. Like, seriously. You should be embarrassed.
    -Mm...french fries.
    -100 followers?!?!? You're probably going to beat me to it. And 22 comments? You don't need me anymore, I guess.
    -The Senior photos of the celebrities made me giggle.
    -I miss Cyanide and Happiness on this blog!
    -What a bizarre thing to post at the end. It's so sacreligious, I'll be able to hear it when Jesus reads this post, because the sound of his scream is going to carry.

  22. Mr. Lamebutt: Snoop Dog is epic. And my grades are better than yours only because I have no life and I spend my weekends in solitude with the doors shut and the windows closed and the Secret Service protecting me from distractions and all my textbooks open around me. I look forward to these days.

    Thank you! My first award! You now have a very special place in my heart, right between the section of “Childhood stuffed animals” and “Celebrity crushes.” Congrats, my friend.

    I should follow your blog, too!

    Aaron M. Gipson: You're back! You hadn't commented on my blog for so long that for a second there I assumed you had been eaten by Costa Rican buffalos!


    They're a rarity.

    Yeah, I get you. These people are only in their early twenties, so I didn't expect any big changes.

    Noah Brown: Well, I'm sure it can get bigger.

    Natalie: THANKS! God, I'm nervous for that stuff too.

    Someone understands! You've intrigued me now: What do you plan on doing when you grow up? And yeah, I'll definitely write if I have time on the side. IF I have time on the side.

    Ash: Aw, thank you.

    :D You should see my face right now. I'm smiling so widely, it's pretty amusing. But the second paragraph in your comment is really making me happy. Thank you.

    Furree Katt: THANK YOU!

    Ha! Oh, you make me laugh. Yeah, most people say that after meeting my older brother. :)

    Ho! You have once again made me laugh. Nah, I seriously doubt he has a crush on me, considering the fact that he's like, five years older than me. But still.

    Amb104: YAY! Eh, I did okay in math...74?! What are you guys doing in math? It must be insanely hard!! EMAIL ME!

    “Yasha” says hi as well. Lol...

    Sunny & Star: It took me like, ten minutes to figure out how to write your name. God, I'm so stupid it amazes me.


    Are you referring to the Glee cast? They didn't change that drastically, but yeah it is amazing.

    Jen in the Purple Pants: Really? I actually agree with the man. Something about the cuteness of babies sways my opinion every time I think of this.

    Thank you!

    SakixDesu: You're welcome. (It was a good post)

    Ha ha, yeah. Me thanksh you.

    Sarah: I prefer the term “adorable.” Lol, just kidding.

    We should ask all the guys we know why they do it. What's their reasoning behind it?!


    ellie: I know, right? I was pretty shocked as well...

    ivy's closet: Thank you! Ha, yeah I try...*blushes*

    Kindros: /nod to you as well, my good sire.

    Lexy @ Quirky Explosion: OH I KNOW. Thank you! I love hearing stuff like that. I like being reminded that the junk I write here is actually being read (and enjoyed!) by people. Still surprises me...

    ishashime: dfhaakdgd. Thank you!

    Honestly, all Kevin McHale did was chop of the locks. That was it. Lol.

    Mila: As are you, my friend. As are you.


  23. misticalnia: Random titles are fun! You should try it sometime.

    Oh yeah, and you did something to your blog so that only YOU can comment on it! No one else can! FIX IT!

    Lemons Don't Make Lemonade: Aw, thank you! I DO ROCK, DON'T I? Just kidding. You rock way more than I do, my friend.

    Sasha: Thanks! I know, right?!

    Saaleha: Santana changed A LOT! I never would've imagined her like that in her teen years. Still, I think she was gorgeous back then as well.

    I love authors, too!

    Christopher: Yup. Machine is my middle name. *Clank, rev, chink*

    -Not for me. I have Spring Break now. You Georgians have Spring Break early in my terms.
    -Bizarre? I wouldn't call it bizarre. I'd call it creepy, scary, frightening, disgusting, sick, ugly, weird, freaky, monkey-shaped, grape-flavored, pedophilic...
    -Oh.....darn. Well, pardon me. I'm going to go hide my report card under the depths of my bed so that nobody sees it ever again. All thanks to you.
    -With ketchup. WITH. KETCHUP.
    -Hurry up! We can get to 100 TOGETHER!! And noooo! Don't leave me! I need you! You're one of my favorite bloggers/commenters ever. I love you and your blog and your comments! And...and...holy shit. I just reread what I wrote and it sounds reeeeeally creepy. But nonetheless, you can't leave me. No.
    -They made me chuckle.
    -Hm. Now that you mention it, so do I. Just for you, I promise to put some Cyanide & Happiness in the next post.
    -Yeah, I'll need a shield to protect myself from his fury.

  24. I love how your posts are the antithesis of mine, meaning that mine are quite short, and lacking in the hilarity that you have!

  25. Congrats on doing so well in your classes! I wish I had done that well. Also, your brother sounds really cool.

    In that picture, I definitely agree with the girl. And I love the Glee flashback photos. Mark's picture always cracks me up because, I mean, his hair.

    I want to be a writer as well! And don't worry about being selfish. I will probably have to pick something else to be so I won't have to live on the streets with a shopping cart.

  26. Wow. Some nice writing skills you got there.

    Hey look at that, Say hello to follower #100.


  27. Bookish.Spazz: No, no! Your posts are even awesome-er than mine! And your name, too. Bookish. Spazz. That's genius right there, man.

    Maggie Shirley: Ha, thank you! Eh, he's all right.

    I know! His hair is just..just...WOW. I'd never expect that...

    Yeah, I guess we both have to pick something else. Maybe we'll pick something that pays well, but is really flexible. Like dentistry. Those meaners get paid just as much as fulltime doctors, but the years in grad school are WAY less. Also, it's really, really, really flexible, so you'd have more than enough time to write on the side.

    Anthony: Aw, thanks!


    For some reason, your blog is blocked on my computer. But now I'm seriously curious to see it! BLAHH! I MUST FIND A WAY!!

  28. I really shouldn't be blog reading, but haven't been on blogger for some time, and just couldn't resist. It's much better than learning about the various parts of the immune system and how they work. 8-)

    I didn't read the whole of this post, I felt guilty cheating on revision, but wait. You get a grade for the yearbook?! Like WTH? How does that work. Do you have a yearbook exam or something?

    And for an amazingly clever person (masha'Allah) who got some excellent grades including 96% in maths, how did you manage an average of 102.something%? 8-). Only football players (soccer is what I mean), get more than 100% 'coz they can somehow put 110% into a game. :P

  29. This comment has been removed by the author.

  30. Nas: Immune system. Fun!

    Ha! I know, right? CRAZY. Actually, in our school, Yearbook is a class, not an elective. The grades are based on how many pages you worked on in the yearbook, how well they were, etc.

    I'm just cool like that. :D Yeah, Alhamdullilah I did good. I just hope I can get grades like this every year, right? They probably added a few extra points in the weighted average. Just being in an Honors class alone can boost up your average.

    Colin Biano: Wait, what are you referring to when you say that? Im confused. And I don't like giving out my age, but...I mean, I'm a teenager. Does that help?

  31. love your blog! keep up the quality posts!

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