Wednesday, August 31, 2011


Okay, so Eid for us was actually yesterday, but I didn't get a chance to wish the Muslims here Eid Mubarak cause I was having too much fun.

But y'know.

Here's a joke:

Why is six afraid of seven?

Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness.

Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

Friday, August 19, 2011

A Blogging Survey Named Nicolai That I Really Should've Done Earlier But I Didn't Have Time So Here It Is, Christopher.

Note: Hi there. If you're a follower of this blog, guess what? YOU'VE BEEN TAGGED TO DO THIS SURVEY. GET SURVEY-ING.

1) Please state your name for the record?


2) If you were a penguin, on the other hand, what do you think your name would be? Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Eeshinator. Oh yeah.

3) Would you consider your ears to be smaller than average, average, larger than average, or freakishly large?

Average. Well, sometimes when I walk in a crowded street, people bounce off my ears and fall to the ground and get trampled over because my ears are in the way. That's pretty average-sized, right?

4) Are you more of a Beatles or an Elvis fan? (If you answer the latter, please proceed to go set yourself on fire and then die in a hole.)

Beatles. Elvis could be the face of pedophiles.

5) Have you ever killed anyone? If so, did you do it with your bare hands?

Of course I didn't kill anyone. *Scoff* What do you think I am, some type of murderer? Some type of evil person? Some type of person who relishes the pain of other people? I mean, God. Just because I have a shirt that says, “I Relish The Pain Of Other People” doesn't mean I actually do. God. Psh.

6) If you could use any fruit to describe the size and shape of your head, what fruit would you use?

Well my head is oval-shaped, so...a banana.

7) Is there any famous person you'd go gay for? Please state their name. This question is, of course, purely for academic purposes.

I would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever in a million
years go gay. So this question is inapplicable to me.

8) If you had the choice, would you rather go to space, meet Paul McCartney, scuba dive in the Pacific Ocean, or sleep with Carmen Electra?

GO TO SPACE!!! Wait wait wait...SCUBA DIVE IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN!! Wait wait wait...God, this is hard. GO TO SPA – no, wait...

9) How long have you had your blog? What made you start one?

I'd had my blog since November 3, 2010. As you can see, it's relatively new. It hasn't even passed one year left. I started it because of a couple of reasons:

. My dear friend Olivia has had a blog for a long time, and I always thought it was pretty freaking awesome. And she also kept insisting that I make one.

. My dear cousin Misticalnia got a blog like the week before me, so I was like, “Screw it. Everyone's making a blog. Might as well try it.”

. I used to keep a diary a while ago, but for some reason I stopped in the summer before seventh grade. This probably wasn't a good decision, cause well. I'm a writer. I write. That's just what I do. And I hate it when I forget about memories and stuff. So if I don't write down every little thing that happens to me somewhere, I get really anxious. I have to have every single thing of my life documented somewhere, or I'll be restless. So although I never started writing a diary again, this blog was an alternative. And I'm glad I made one.

10) What is your weirdest phobia?

Well, I don't exactly have a lot of phobias. Just the usual. You know. Dogs, handkerchiefs, computers, sunlight, trees, birds, people, children, babies, adults, elderly folk, pencils, dying, apples, television, blogs, printers, and those nasty, nasty enchiladas. That's just a few of them. But you know – nothing radical.

11) Do you believe in God?


12) If you could start a collab. blog with any four bloggers, which ones would you do it with?

Eh...I was avoiding this question. When I was reading this survey for the first time on Christopher's blog, I knew then that this question was going to annoy me. And look at that! It is annoying me.

Okay. So. Four bloggers. I can do this.

Hmph. Not fair. Only four bloggers. Harumph.

But there's so. Many. That. I. Enjoy. How am I supposed to pick... just...four?!?!

Okay. I'm going to do this completely off the top of my head. They could change at any moment. These are the ones I'd pick for this particular second in this particular minute of this particular day. Yeah. My four bloggers would be:

Bookish.Spazz at Bookish.Spazz (I had so much fun saying that)

Nas at Closing Pandora's Box (Such an amazing name for a blog, right? He's amazing, too)

ThatBlondGuy (Christopher, the tiny leprechaun who made up this survey) at The Nerd Archives


13) If you were trapped on a desert island with the same four bloggers you mentioned in the last question, which one would you eat first? With which one would you procreate?

We wouldn't even need to eat another blogger because Ash would obviously bring us all some cheesecake, duh. And I think it's pretty obvious who I'd procreate with.

14) What's your favourite 80's movie?

Omigosh this is hard. There's so many! Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Karate Kid, Back to the Future, E.T., Star Wars – the list goes on and on.

15) What kind of music do you listen to?

Whatever sounds good, I'll listen to.

16) Imagine that you open your bedroom closet one day and suddenly a portal opens up. You can't see what is at the end of the portal, but there is a totoro inside it motioning you to follow him. Would you go inside, even if it might mean you'll never come back?
I...I can't even imagine that scenario. Part of me wouldn't even REALIZE that I'd be taking a risk by going inside, so I would. The other part, if told that I'd never come back, would definitely not.

17) If you're a woman, do you find facial hair on men attractive? If you're a man, do you find facial hair on woman attractive?

Not mustaches. I do not like mustaches.

18) Do you like babies?

This question could not have been asked at a better time. A friend I made at my new school during the summer courses (which are now over, by the way) has an inside joke with me where basically we yell at each other in the halls, “DO YOU LIKE BABIES?” and then the other replies, “YES I LIKE BABIES.” I'm not sure how this started, but it's a pretty awesome inside joke.

19) What's the most violent thing you've ever done to an inanimate object?

Thrown it, bitten it, stomped on it, and sat on it.

20) What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you? brother and I went to Hershey Park when we were like somewhere between third grade to fifth grade and we were forced into this little pen of excited five year olds and a really excited guy in his mid-twenties who was dancing and he was trying to get everyone excited about making chocolate or something, so to do this, he was dancing like CRAZY and getting all the kids hyped up (who also danced like crazy and jumped up and down) and my brother and I just stood there all stiff like, “What the fup is going on.”

And surrounding the pen were all the adults whose kids were in the pen, and whose kids were on line to get in the pen, and they were all cooing at the cute kids jumping/dancing, and our parents were yelling at us to start dancing and jumping, cause they didn't pay for this for nothing.

Yeah. I try not to think about that horrible memory.

21) Do you think the world will end in 2012?

Obviously not. Facebook sums it up clearly: “When it's 2013, I'm going to the DVD store and putting the movie 2012 in the Comedy section.”

22) Have you enjoyed this survey? Be honest, now.


23) Are you following The Nerd Archives? If not, DO YOURSELF THE FAVOUR OF DOING SO NOW.

Yes, I'm following The Nerd Archives. The real question should be: Are you following I Don't Skinny Dip I Chunky Dunk? If not, DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR OF DOING SO NOW.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh look at these Harry Potter related pictures.