1. When something is "new and improved!" Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
2. When people say, "Life is short." What the hell? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fricking does! What can you do that's longer?
3. People who say things like, "My eyes aren't what they used to be." So what did they used to be? Ears? Wellington boots?
4. When you're eating something and someone asks, "Is that nice?" No, it's really revolting -- I always eat stuff I hate.
5. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks, that's an image I reallly didn't need.
6. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert "Mc" before the item you are ordering...It has to be a McChicken Burger; just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes, you fricking McDumb*ss.