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Friday, January 21, 2011

Weird JCPenny Salesman

Well, we were at the mall a couple days ago. And we were at JCPenny. My dad and some weird JCPenny salesman were talking a lot with each other.

And man. This guy was entertaining.

Like, he could talk nonstop about stupid things ("Indian food is so spicy!"), and then could also be very conceited ("I've been in this business for thirty years.")

And he was a pottymouth.

"Other stores will give you -- " he sees my mother. "Turn around, Mom." My mother dutifully turns around. While her head is turned, the JCPenny salesman whispers in my dad's ear, "Other stores will give you bullshit."

Pottymouth. I'm telling you.

And, my strangest experience of meeting this guy came when my dad and him were discussing our (my brother and mine) ages.

"So, how old are you?" the JCPenny salesman happened to ask my older brother.

My brother answered with his age, which was a lot younger than the guy thought it would be (he's in high school).

The JCPenny salesman gawked at him. "Wh-what?"

My brother laughed. "Yeah, that's how old I am."

JCPenny dude was flabbergasted. "Wha-do people ever tell you that you look a lot older??"

My brother laughed again and nodded. "Yeah. The oldest I've gotten so far is college student."

The JCPenny guy was still in shock. Then he turns to me and asks, "And how old are you?"

I tell him my age. He looks even more shocked.

After staring at me for seven seconds straight (and me grinning devilishly), he concludes, "Okay, your son's going into the army next year, and your daughter is going to put someone in jail."

Excuuuuussse me?

My brother -- God, I felt like murdering him! -- widens his eyes, bursts out laughing, and slaps me on my arm.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

I glared at my brother. "Shut up."

He waggles his eyebrows at me. "Hey Eeshie, you're gonna put someone in jail..."

I look at him. "I'm not like that!"

He bursts out in laughter again. "I KNOW!! HAHAHAHAHAAHHAAH! You're going to put someone in jail! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Ugh! But seriously! He's still saying that to me!

Goodness. That was one weird JCPenny salesman...

5 comments:

  1. I hate salespeople in general, but I especially hate salespeople like this.

    Funny story!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahaha! YOU'RE gonna put someone in jail, Eeshie? REally????

    Ha!

    I, like your brother, am always going to hold this one over you for the rest of your life. You know you're never gonna hear the end of this, right?

    Your mistake for sharing this. Thanks!!!! XD

    ReplyDelete
  3. PS. Did you always have two fish tanks on your blog? Or is the bottom one new? Because I just noticed it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That Blonde Guy: RIGHT?? (about hating salespeople)

    sarahaquilah: HA THANKSH YOU!

    misticalnia: :O You're still alive??? Haha, jk. So um, why don't you make a new post?! lol would you believe me if I said I didn't get what the man was saying at first? (I didn't think he had the nerve!)

    And the bottom fish tank is new. Ish. Well, it's new for you, since you haven't been on Blogger in forever...

    Guess who came to mah house today...:)

    ReplyDelete

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