Saturday, February 26, 2011

The College Experience-Part III/IV

*If you haven't already done so (and a lot of you have done so, so don't worry about it, Christopher), read this post before you read the following one.

Gosh that linking is getting really annoying...

Hello there! Some of you may or may not have noticed that this post is about my last two days of the college program. I combined them, because we didn't really do much on Thursday.

But before we go on with Thursday, here's the FULL list of people from that “killing” assignment in Human Relations on Tuesday:

-Gay Physician
-Black minister
-Woman basketball player
-Uneducated, poor, pregnant white woman
-Latino engineer
-Lesbian farmer
-Chinese psychologist
-Unskilled male laborer
-Quadriplegic child
-Male teacher
-Mentally disabled adult

The ones in red are the ones who were “killed.” Once again, I didn't think there was really a “right” answer. But apparently these are the right ones.

The uneducated, poor, pregnant white woman was “killed” for obvious reasons. She's pregnant! Having a baby is another mouth to feed, and they don't have enough resources for that. Personally, I had chosen for her to live. But nooo. What Professor Williams says, goes.

The Chinese psychologist is out. Some may argue, “Wouldn't the psychologist help people adjust to each other, stop fights, and calm people down?” Yes, but the minister should be able to do the same thing. Also, he gives them hope that things will improve from religion.

*Sniff, sniff* I felt really bad, but the quadriplegic child is out. He wouldn't be able to do anything. The best we can hope is that the kid wanted to die. :(

Killing” off the mentally disabled adult kind of touched on my heartstrings as well, but what can you do? You're trying to build a society, and they're not going to be a big help. :(

And the woman basketball player. The only reason we “killed” her off was because we needed the others. She wasn't one of the main priorities. While she would be a great help, she wasn't necessary.

So. There you have it. The first five that would get kicked out of our little society. A cruel, realistic little assignment.

Now on to Thursday!


You know what it is (Black and yellow). First we had Toxicology. We took a test. A TEST. I began freaking out, but then I realized we were allowed to use our notes. And I had practically taken notes religiously, so I was good.

As a treat, we received a bag from the NYC Poison Control Center. It had pamphlets upon brochures upon pamphlets on poison safety. Also, we got a Poison Control Center magnet, and a Poison Control Center pen.


It was in Toxicology that we noticed...the guy.

Yes. The guy.

Actually, it was a bunch of guys. These guys were clad in dark black suits, some wearing sunglasses, some with oily, slicked back hair. Each of these guys had something in common.

They were carrying cameras.

Not little cameras. Professional, big-a$$, black cameras. And who were they videoing/taking pictures of?


It was annoying, actually. Since this was the first time they had done this program at that college, I guess they hired a band of cameramen to record every single freaking thing we did.

In toxicology, they kept snapping pictures, over and over again. We hadn't noticed this the past few days because we had been in different, auditorium-like rooms. They had been in the back, where no one could see them. But on Thursday, we were in a classroom.

And they were everywhere.

You'd think we were famous or something, the way they zeroed in on you if you raised your hand or sneezed or laughed.

For example, when my friend was called on to answer a question, the team of cameramen ran over to her saying, “Come on! Roll it!” and they started snapping pictures like crazy, the flash lighting up my friend's face every two seconds.


That's why I did not raise my hand for that entire period. The professor asked us if we knew the difference between passive and active transport. Well, duh, that's easy. But everyone had forgotten the answer. I was the single person who knew, and I kept my hand down in fear that the cameramen would come rushing and videoing/taking pictures of me.

I guess the professor must think we're dumb teenagers, but oh well.

Then came Sports Management. Boring, as usual.

Lunch was hilarious. Hi-larious. The cafeteria we went to was buffet-style. Meaning we paid $5 at the front, and then we could take whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted, however much we wanted.

Naturally, we went crazy.

Especially since we had an entire hour of lunch. We went absolutely insane! There was no stopping us! We went back and forth from our tables to the food, over and over and over and over again. It was like a big party.

And then we found the frozen yogurt machine.

We became animals. We weren't even teenagers anymore. We were beasts!

There was such a big mob in front of the frozen yogurt machine, and such a big mess, that they sent a crabby old hairnet-clad buffet worker to watch over us. Her arms were folded the entire time, her mouth set in a straight line.

At one point, I was at the frozen yogurt machine with two of my snobby friends (Ha). We were all talking, and then this young guy in a hairnet comes over looking really angry.

“Why are you guys wasting frozen yogurt?!”

We looked at each other. “What?”

He pointed to the frozen yogurt machine. Perched on top of it were two perfectly-made, abandoned frozen yogurts. No one could eat them now, since no one knew if they had been touched/licked.

We raised our eyebrows.

“That's not mine,” my snobby friend MH ) said, turning her back on him.

“Yes it is. I've been watching you. All three of you. I saw you guys make it. Why are you wasting frozen yogurt?!”

I was kind of stunned that this random dude who worked there would just go crazy on us out of nowhere. But MH, a snobby girl like she is, is always prepared.

“Well, that's not mine, so...whatever...” And on that cue, the three of us continued making our ice creams and frozen yogurts. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the dude staring at us, opening his mouth as if he wanted to curse at us, and then walk away, shaking his head.

Well. It wasn't ours.

We were beastly enough before, but now we had found out that we could bring frozen yogurts to class. And if you though we were animals before, then now we were...some other type of carnivorous organisms now.

The mob in front of the frozen yogurt grew (as did the number of hairnet ladies watching us), and there was a swarm of people busying themselves in sprinkles and cookie chunks and mixing two flavors, and etc. It was a bad, bad place to be.

Lucky for me, I had found out about taking food to class earlier, so I was perched on my seat, licking my frozen yogurt in a perky fashion, watching the insanity unfold of teenagers combined with unlimited frozen treats.

Yeah, baby!

Human Relations was next. It was a relaxing class. We watched Good Times (One of the episodes with the cutie pie Gary Coleman), South of Nowhere, Family Guy, and Everybody Hates Chris. We watched a single episode of these four shows, and then we discussed. We talked about how the older shows relate to our modern lives, how the modern shows relate to our modern lives, how the older shows relate to the modern shows, and everything in between.

Fun class, as usual.

And all the while, we were quietly snacking on our frozen yogurts.

Go figure.

After that we had our “Physical Education” class. For once, we actually went outside in below-freezing weather and did physical education-related stuff. It was optional though.

They were playing dodgeball. There was no way in hell that I was going to play dodgeball with these kids.

You see, the three Honors classes are constantly battling with each other to see who's the smartest. It's really, really stupid. I don't even know how it started. But that's what we do. We get into street fights after school, sabotage each other's work, and the atmosphere is extremely competitive.

Throw in a few rubber balls and let us loose on a soccer field? Yeah, you're screwed.

A lot of people sat out. I wonder why.

So, for the hour we were sitting on the bleachers, I entertained myself by continuing to “brighten people's days” by waving and yelling, “I LOVE THAT SCARF!” at the top of my lungs to random people below me in the parking lot.


I switched it up a bit sometimes. This guy was walking to his car with a really cool blue jacket, so I screamed, “HI, I LIKE YOUR JACKET!”

It was so funny. He was blushing like hell. He smiled and said, “Thanks.” My friend thought it was really cute how he was embarrassed. I thought it was pathetic. I mean, a short 5'3'' girl who doesn't even go to college likes your jacket. Wow. Big deal. Not that exciting. Don't hurt yourself now!

What was weird about this whole physical education hour was that there was a guy taking pictures of everyone from UNDER THE BLEACHERS.

I mean. God. That's just weird.

So. That was my Thursday.


Our last day! :(

We were all pretty restless.

Toxicology-Boring, as usual. I got 100% on that quiz we took. Whoo-hoo!

Sports Management-Boring, as usual.

Lunch-They just don't learn, do they? We were taken back to the buffet place. The ice cream thing happened again. Surprise, surprise.

Two of my friends actually brought Tupperware to package some of the food. I started cracking up. My friend began whining, “It's not that weird!” And then I told them I wasn't laughing about that. They asked me why I was laughing. I simply reached into my bag and revealed my giant Ziploc bag.

HUMAN RELATIONS! - We had a multicultural lunch thing. The food was pretty good. Unfortunately, everyone was absolutely stuffed from lunch, so the food was hardly touched.

But before we ate lunch, we were asked to present a project we had done on love, peace, hate, and violence. The best one out of all of the projects was definitely Fleur's. Like, no doubt about it. She's Muslim (Like me! Yup. I'm Muslim. Get over it). But unlike me, she wears a hijab around her head (Yeah, I don't wear a hijab. Shut up, don't make me feel bad!) (And no, I'm not Arabic! Or Turkish! Or Indian!)

What was I talking about? Oh yeah! Fleur! Her project was actually a rap she had made and performed herself (It's New York City. What did you expect? A haiku?). It was all about how everyone has Muslims wrong. They're not murderers, and they're not out to kill you, and how Islam is actually a religion which is all about peace (You didn't know that, did you.) Anyway, there was one particular line which really hit home for me:

The world is a terrible place/All wrapped up and tied in lace”

I couldn't even believe how true this was. And this was coming from my very own friend Fleur, a girl who's in Honors class, but is dangerously close to getting kicked out because she's failing every subject. I didn't know she could be this deep.

I definitely underestimated her.

After Human Relations, we had a mini-party/ceremony thing to celebrate our completion of twenty hours of college (That's what it said on the certificate). We all sat down in a room, were forced to complete a survey on how we felt about this program (We were basically an experiment for them), and then we watched a short play performed by the Shakespeare class-group. It was...pretty bad, but oh well.

Then, our certificates were distributed, and finally, they revealed a looooooong table in the back filled with food.

I think my stomach began crying.

We were just so Goddamn full that the sight of edible products just made us want to hurl. Fortunately, we were smart enough to package the food on plates they provided us and brought most of the stash home.

Overall, it was a great experience. I'm going to miss all my professors (Well. That's a lie. Definitely not the Sports Management one), especially Professor Williams of Human Relations. She really meant a lot.

She gave me her email address! Now I can stalk her! (Just kidding)

They told us that they would be doing the same program next year, all over again. We grew excited. But it wasn't likely that they'd choose the same group of kids again. They would choose different ones.

Anyhoo, this college program was way more fun than I thought it would be. If there's ever anything like it offered at your school, don't think twice! Just do it. DO IT.


  1. That Human Relations class/subject sounds really interesting. I can't even remember if they ahd something like that when I was in uni. I've always had an interest in psychology, so this kind of stuff about people has always interested me. Glad you enjoyed the week you had there, is it safe to guess you'll choose Human Relations as a subject/course when you go to uni :P


  3. i'm Muslim, too :D
    OMG, this college program sounded like SO MUCH FUN. i wish there was something like that where i live.
    the Human Relations who-to-kill-and-who-to-save thing actually made sense :O
    YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS! black and yellow black and yellow black and yellow.

  4. Ah, it does make sense to kill the disabled people and everything first I guess... (Wow, if someone read that sentence just independently without knowing what I was talking about they would thing I was a pretty horrible person. Just pointing that out, any random person that may be reading this that doesn't know the situation!)

    Anyways, that is so creepy about all of the weird camera guys following you around all day... I mean, I guess it would be kind of cool to have your own personal paparazzi, but like you said, probably annoying too.

    Ooooh baby, all of the food sounds amazing! Haha, that's so true. Let a bunch of teenagers loose when there's a multitude of food around and they turn into monsters. :D

  5. Thank you for commenting on my blog! :)

  6. I would switch out the psychologist for the minister, but that's just because science trumps religion for me. Think it would be better for helping everyone cope with the problems of what just happened. Just my thoughts.

  7. Shenge: I don't know. I might...See the thing is, I've always been interested in psychology. Human Relations and psychology are basically the same thing. It looks pretty awesome and all, but...psychologists get like, NO money. They're broke. I don't want to be like that. So...I'm undecided.

    Salena: You bet it is.

    Furree Katt: Yeah, I had a feeling. :D When you said you wanted to go to Mecca, that was my proof right there :)

    It was fun! I want to do it again!
    And hey, you know the song! YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS! Black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow.

    Natalie: I honestly don't know how real celebrities keep themselves from attacking the paparazzi. I felt like attacking them!

    And not even monsters. More like BEASTS or, or ANIMALS or, or REPUBLICANS (jk)

    Apple: No problem :)

    Kindros: Science trumps religion for you? Hmm...that's an interesting question to ask people...hmm...


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