I'm Seriously Not a Big Deal. I Bet There Are a Couple of Other Half-Mermaid Orphans Out There Who Were Raised by Ninjas.

We were at Home Depot, and my dad was looking for a tarp to cover his car with (He's just really sick of cleaning the car every morning and shoveling the snow). So while my dad was off doing whatever, I decided that I was on a mission.

That's right. A mission.

I decided that I would find that huge wall of paint chips located in every home improvement store, such as the one shown below:

And I decided that I was going to take some free samples.

Oh yes. Free. Samples.

Because usually, along every wall of paint chips, there are handouts. These handouts contain things that go beyond your wildest dreams. They have pictures of possible room themes, paints that go along with these themes, suggestions on what colors go with what, and provide a fantasmical color wheel so that you can make your own choices of color paint.

I wanted it all.

So, in a determined fashion, I marched around the store, ready to take on my mission. I recruited my brother on this mission as well, so he was right at my heels.

And then...

We arrived.

I could almost hear the beautiful, melodious chorus singing angelically as I gazed upon the rows upon rows of different colors, all gorgeous. There was Egg Shell White, Deep Dusty Rose, Sugared Lime, Totally Teal, Fresh Grape Juice, and oh so many more shades of colors.

I was in heaven.

Still in a daze, I slowly reached for a handout. It was thick, and titled "Interior Color Catalog." I flipped through it, as it was like a book. My eyes widened as I saw multiple squares of lovely colors with perfect-fitting names underneath.

I was in heaven. Times three.

As I walked past the whole wall, I saw more and more handouts and catalogs, frantically snatching all of them, making sure that I had them all. And then --

"Eeshie."

I turned, my arms full of catalogs. It was my brother, who had been watching me this entire time, amused.

"Are you sure they're free?"

My whole world came crashing down at once. His question made me skeptical. Were they free? Why would they make all these different catalogs, and then just let people have them for free? For the customer's enjoyment? Certainly not.

I put my treasures down slowly, looking around. Soon, I found an employee not too far away.

(Fosh. Now I have to give my brother a name. Um, let's call him Yns?)

"Yns!" I whisper to my brother, elbowing him. "Go to that guy and ask him if these are free!"

Yns gives me a look. "No!"

"Please? Please, please, please, please, please?"

"No! You go."

I looked at him, exasperated. "But I'm a girl!"

He just looked at me. "So?"

"Seriously, Yns. Go. Ask. Him."

"Ugh, all right, fine!"

He was gone for less than fifteen seconds. Basically, Yns walked towards the man, paused halfway, and then turned around back to me.

"I'm not doing it."

"You agreed to it like, two seconds ago!"

"Yeah. That was before I knew he was black."

(We shared a laugh at this point.)

"So? Who cares if he's black?!"

"As I said before: You. Go."

He started to walk away, leaving me with my treasures, but then, in a last attempt to make him go, I called out, "I'll give you five bucks!"

He paused. Then turned around back to me.

"Fine. But not to that guy. I'll do it. Gimme," he said, taking one of the handouts from to use as an example when talking to the employee.

Suit yourself, Bro!

He found a middle-aged black lady who looked much more amiable than that silent, mysterious, skinny-jean clad black guy. Once again, he walked towards her....and then turned back to me.

He handed back to me the handout. "Forget it."

"Yns!" I cried in despair.

"I chickened out."

"Just go!"

He obviously wasn't moving. I rolled my eyes, thinking, He doesn't come cheap.

"I'll give you ten bucks."

He perked up and took the handout back. "Ten bucks? Well that changes things."

I watched as he started towards the lady, but then grabbed a product from the wall as he was walking there.

"What are you doing??"

"I'm taking something with me so I don't look like an idiot!"

Huh? I hid in the next aisle as Yns made his move.

"Excuse me?" He asked courteously to the lady.

"Yes, how can I help you?"

It appeared that the item Yns had randomly picked up was a smoke alarm. He showed it to the lady and asked, "Where are the rest of these?"

She walked him over to aisle where the alarms were located, giving him a talk about different types of alarms and prices, and my brother took it all in, nodding and smiling at the appropriate times. Then, just as their conversation was about to conclude, my brother took out one of the handouts and asked, "And are these free?"

The lady smiled a bit. "Yes, they are."

She left, and I attacked Yns.

"YAY! They're free!"

"YAY! You owe me ten bucks."

I gave him a look.

So, it was really a happily ever after situation for everyone. I got my catalogs, and Yns got his ten bucks. Which he spent very quickly.

Hmph.

So, has anyone else had any strange encounters at stores? Leave a comment if so. Also, leave a comment on your favorite type of pie. I've been reading pie-related posts from other blogs, and I'm curious to know.

So. Yeah. Stores and pie. Pie and stores.